Most entrepreneurs can’t live off of referrals because they’re afraid of asking.

Just like when you ask someone out on a date, you’re opening yourself up to rejection.

But if you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

The key to getting a predictable stream of referrals is knowing when and how to ask. When you do it right, most clients will be happy to help you grow your business by recommending your services to others. This module will show you the best times to ask, and how to do it with confidence, and will provide you with proven templates that make the process smooth and professional.

Many solopreneurs struggle with this part because they fear coming across as desperate or too “salesy.” But the truth is, when you know how and when to ask for referrals, it doesn’t feel awkward at all. In fact, many clients are happy to help when asked at the right moment.

The 3 Best Times to Ask for Referrals

When to Ask: Timing Is Everything

One of the biggest mistakes solopreneurs make when asking for referrals is asking at the wrong time. Timing is everything when it comes to getting high-quality referrals.

When is the best time to ask for a referral? The simple answer is there are many key moments to ask for a referral. 

It’s not just “when the client is happiest.” Let’s break down key moments:

At the end of your first meeting. 

This might seem counterintuitive because you haven’t yet built a deep relationship with the prospect, but the end of your first meeting is a powerful moment. At this point, the prospect has just heard your full pitch, had a chance to ask questions, and formed a solid understanding of your offer. Even if they don’t need your services at this time, they now know exactly what you do and how you can help businesses like theirs.

Because the relationship is still new, a direct request for referrals might feel too pushy. Instead, you can position the ask as a consultative question, showing you respect their insights and opinions. Here’s how you can phrase it:

>> Can I ask you a quick question before we go? Now that you’ve heard about what I do, if you were in my shoes, who are the top three companies you’d call?

This type of approach does three things:

• It doesn’t feel like a hard sell. You’re not directly asking them to give you a referral, which can sometimes feel uncomfortable, especially if you’ve just met. Instead, you’re positioning the question as a form of professional advice, making the conversation more collaborative and showing you respect their opinion.

• It shows confidence. Even if the prospect doesn’t choose to move forward, they’ve still had a professional interaction with you and likely respect your business. Asking in a non-pushy way shows confidence in your offering, regardless of the outcome.

• You can name-drop them. Once you reach out to the companies your prospect suggested, you can start the email with: “Hi, [Prospect’s Name] said I should contact you…” Which is one of the most powerful introductions to a cold email. 

Action Step: After your next sales call, try asking the above question. Jot down the names they suggest, and follow up with those businesses by leveraging the introduction. This subtle referral tactic can open new doors early in the relationship.

After Delivering a Win

The most obvious time to ask for a referral is right after you’ve delivered a significant win for your client. This could be after a major milestone, a successful project delivery, or when you’ve helped them achieve a key goal. At this moment, the client is thrilled with the results you’ve provided, and their satisfaction is at its peak.

One very important thing to note is that even if you delivered the win within days of starting to work together, you should ask for a referral. I see too many freelancers think that because they’ve made the client happy within just a few days of starting work, that it’s too soon to ask for a referral.

It’s never too soon to ask for a referral.

Even if you achieved a very quick win, you demonstrated value. And this is the perfect time to ask directly for a referral without it feeling awkward. 

Here’s a simple yet powerful way to ask:

Referral Request Email Template

This approach works well because the client is already excited about the results you’ve delivered, and you’re tapping into their positive emotions. Plus, the email is polite, low-pressure, and respectful of their comfort level in making a referral. By offering to send an introductory document, you make it easier for them to follow through without feeling like they have to do any extra work.

Let’s break down why this type of ask is effective:

1. Timing is perfect. You’re asking when the client’s satisfaction is at its peak, which increases the likelihood that they’ll want to share your services with others.
2. It’s direct but not pushy. The request is straightforward, but by mentioning, “only if you’re comfortable,” you give them an easy out, which helps avoid any awkwardness.
3. You’re offering support. By offering to send over a portfolio or a document, you’re making it easier for them to make the introduction, showing that you’re not adding any burden on them to help you.
4. It’s personalized. By highlighting the specific win, you’re reminding the client of the value you provided and why they’d be happy to refer you.

During a Casual Conversation

Another great time to ask for a referral is during regular, casual conversations with your clients. This is particularly effective if you have an ongoing relationship with them. There’s no need for a formal request; instead, you can bring it up naturally as part of your everyday interactions.

For example, during a routine check-in or a casual discussion about their future plans, you could say something like:

“By the way, do you know anyone else who could use help with [the service you provide]?”

Here’s why this approach works well:

• It’s low pressure. By asking in a casual setting, you’re not making the request feel like a big deal. It’s just part of the conversation, which helps avoid any discomfort on their end.
• It fits naturally into the relationship. If you’ve been working with the client for a while, this feels more like a friendly mention than a formal request. Since you’ve already built rapport, the client is more likely to respond positively.
• It keeps you top of mind. Casual referrals like this help keep you top of mind, especially if you’re regularly in touch with your client. It encourages them to think of you when opportunities arise.

Action Step:
In your next casual conversation with a client, try to bring up referrals naturally. Use the opportunity to remind them that you’re open to helping others they may know.

Bonus – How To Ask For A Testimonial

Getting a glowing testimonial from a client is one of the most powerful ways to showcase your expertise and build credibility with potential new clients. Here’s a simple and effective way to ask for a testimonial at the right time: after project completion. When you wrap up a project, your client is likely happy with the results and more open to sharing their positive experience.

Project Completion Email Template

This email is your chance to celebrate the project’s success while gently introducing the idea of providing feedback, which can later turn into a testimonial. Here’s how to frame it:

This initial email serves two purposes:

It wraps up the project on a positive note, reminding the client of what you’ve achieved together.

It gently introduces the idea of feedback, making it a low-pressure, natural request.

Email Template – Review email

Once the client agrees to provide feedback, you can send the following email with a few key questions that will help guide their response. Remember, the goal is to get specific insights that highlight the value you provided, which can later be turned into a testimonial.

These questions are designed to walk the client through a “before, during, and after” journey. It’s a simple structure that captures the full scope of their experience and highlights your impact.

Email Template – Testimonial email

Once the client has provided their feedback, it’s time to ask for permission to use their responses as a testimonial. This is a low-pressure ask, ensuring they are comfortable with how their words will be used.

This final step is crucial because it ensures you have explicit permission to use their words. Offering to anonymize details makes the ask even more considerate, which can help clients feel more comfortable if they’re hesitant.

Why This Approach Works:

• It’s timed perfectly: Asking for a testimonial when the client is happy with the final results increases the likelihood they’ll say yes.
• Low pressure: By positioning the request as a feedback exercise first, it feels more like a natural part of the process, not a favor.
• It’s structured: The specific questions ensure you get meaningful, usable content for your testimonials.
• It respects their comfort: Offering anonymity shows respect for their privacy, which can encourage more honest feedback.

This is how you can gather high-quality testimonials that showcase the value you bring to clients, while keeping the process smooth and respectful.